When someone you love/know has PMDD...

[Sam]

Believe her. When she tells you what she’s experiencing, believe her. Even if it doesn't make sense. Because PMDD doesn't make sense. The symptoms are as unique and individual as the woman having them.

Do not tease her. Do not make fun of her, as this is a serious and often debilitating condition.

Learn as much information as you can about PMDD from reliable resources.

Understand that if it is not treated, her PMDD WILL only get worse. It could end up as major depressive disorder.

Don’t let her negative thoughts and feelings get the better of her—or you. If she shares them with you, gently remind her it’s the PMDD talking, not her, and postpone any major discussions/decision making for a few days.

Be supportive and encouraging as she tries different things to feel better.

Help her to get enough rest. Sleep is when our bodies re-regulate themselves. If we don’t have enough (sleep) time to do the work needed, we start the day at a disadvantage.

Encourage her to eat healthy. (Avoid alcohol, caffeine, sugar, sugar substitutes and white rice and flour)


Do what you can to keep stressful situations to a minimum. PMDD feeds on stress.

Remember that she literally is not herself during an episode of PMDD. Try not to hold the things she says and does against her. It’s not personal, and it’s not about you.

Be as comforting as she will allow you to be. If she won’t let you near her, let her know you're nearby if she needs you.

Do not blame PMDD for every time she becomes irritated, annoyed, angry, afraid, or upset. Nothing is more irritating than having a genuine concern or grievance, and being told- it's your PMDD again!

[Lchakra]

Easy for you to say. I try all the things mentiones but there is only so much a man can take, only so much emotional abuse i can muster. I'm the most patient, loving man in the world, and i used to think she is worth it, now i have to talk myself into that. I feel like I'm in a one sided marraige. If i come home and had a bad day at work, i cant talk to anyone about it, because then I'm a whiner, i can't clean or do anything around the house right,.....and this goes on for well over 2 weeks that others describe, she gets the 2 weeks then the last day of her period she gets it heavier and that lasts for 3-5 days. This is well over half of my life, and it's not fun getting emotionally abused by the person you love more than anything for half of your life.

[Sam]

I am so sorry you are on the receiving end of PMDD. I can imagine it is extremely hard for you to cope with. Especially when the woman you fell in love with maybe doesn't seem like the same person you lie next to each and every night. The symptoms she experiences do not define her.. she is most likely still the beautiful, caring and wonderful person you met all those years ago. It is really important that she finds a good support network as I have found that talking to others who have the same does help. Maybe you could both keep a diary to track when the symptoms are likely to flare and hold off making any plans or having any important discussions until this time is over. Triggers need to be identified and I feel CBT would help you both greatly with this and also in learning how to deal with such uproar. Believe me when I say that it's not fun abusing either. Especially when the one you love looks back at you and deep down you know they don't deserve it at all but you can't stop it. Medications to help balance the hormone fluctuations have helped me immensly so maybe she could give this a try. Speaking to her GP on her behalf and also to her friends may give you a sense of relief and also get the ball rolling towards getting your wife better. I urge you to not give up on her, remember the reason you wed and be there if she ever does need you for comfort. I'm sure with the right input, a good support network (such as this or friends) and such a loving husband like you that she will eventually be well enough to live a happy life where she can deal sufficiently with the symptoms. Its a long hard trek but definitely worth it. I send hope and strength to you both and pray you remain as strong as you have been for both your sakes.

Thank you for your input.

~S

[Sam]

Ladies....this just goes to show that men are troubled by PMDD too. Try not to just think about what your symptoms do to you but also those around us. Especially those we live with and love. It is horrible for others too.